With many women still struggling for basic education in my country, I find myself to be lucky to have endeavored the power of education. Finishing my graduates and Masters degree followed by few years of working experience in my professional life, at present I am pursuing the beautiful role of motherhood with my 1 and half year old son, and as my baby grows to toddler, like any other moms, I prepared myself for the search of preschool for him, as part of his first learning, in outside world and yes, its one of the most difficult choice, as taking risk, is never part of decision matrix. ​ 

My search began with visiting some preschools and daycare, each of them claiming to be their best, of course, in the price you are paying for!! I was amazed to know all those services they provided unless, I caught the glimpses of babies less than 1 year or even less than 6 months, as I passed by their small rooms and leaned against their room’s door, feeling completely puzzled and confused, I was forced to ask myself a question why are they here, aren’t they suppose to be back home ? With my casual meetings with the center person, I could however figure out, its because they have moms who have to work outside the home and they don’t have anyone to take care of them in the home, however, some have managed hiring nannies or inviting family members.

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With all my thoughts and hearts left to the babies and their innocent expressions, I came back home, wondered around the glimpses of those babies while I kept questioning myself. Simply, the answer, they have working mom, could not be the reason. May be its just the symptoms of one, among many, societal issues brought by the way, the world is moving towards development, mostly grounded by the rule of competitive economic development. For any mom, given a choice she will never opt to choose anything against her baby, right from the day, she embraces her unborn child inside her; she just becomes “Mom”. Motherhood is one of the beautiful phases in any woman’s life that completely changes her life and self-identity. Before being mother, she might be daughter, daughter in law, wife or engineer, doctor, businesswoman, but once she gives birth to her child the wholeness of all of her identity sums up in one beautiful role of motherhood and then she becomes a mom .

​As an educated urban woman of 21st century high tech world, we all struggle the constant battle of joggling between family life and career life. As a woman, we have acquired the power of decision making, and in many aspects we have been capable to envision our life with pride and confidence of being who we are. We aim our life guided by our own personal values and dignity, preferring to live with full rights and responsibilities, motivated by our own decision-making.​

We are in the 21st century modern world, where most of the urban moms are well educated and capable of pursuing her dreams she has set, in spite of her capability, some priorities her commitment towards her family and the children. It takes a lot, for those women to give up their pursuing career, for the family, but through her endurance and knowledge, she priorities her time towards her babies and the family, over her. This is certainly not her weakness but one of her significant strength.

For some, it becomes dire necessity, part of parenting, as they become the victims of life’s situations, left with no option other than to work. The question of quitting job will be even out of question for a single mom, who has to bear whole financial responsibilities of her child! But for some it comes as a choice, and it comes as part of planned parenting which includes the consent of both parents, to undertake the role of parenting.

We voice for woman’s right, men’s right or third gender right but what about those babies who are forced to spend their moments of innocence being far from their parents, far before they are even ready for it. Isn’t it the baby’s right to live with her parents and get every attention and nurturing from her parents, in their early period of development. After a baby is born, even medical doctors recommend to completely breastfeed the baby for at least 6 months. In this modern age, there are options of storing pumped breast milk ,but will it be the same as baby getting milk from mom directly?  (Unless and until its medical requirement) Breastfeeding is not only about technical requirements; it’s the natural means of bonding between mother and baby. Through breastfeeding mom is also providing her baby, warmth of her love. The time we spend with our babies in their initial years is the most precious time. This is the time to pursue mother baby bonding and making that bonding so strong and special. Many of scientific researches have also advocated for the importance of baby’s initial 2 years, for overall development of their future. According to many researches done, the first two years of child life is the most crucial phase. This is the time when babies are developing continuously. Their mental and physical development and their character are mainly shaped in this period of their life. Giving full time to your baby at least in his early 2 years is never a waste of time, its actually investing your time and hard effort for your baby’s health and well-being and of course to the society!!!

Emblem of motherhood, amidst the guilt and deflation!

But as a woman, why does our “modern society” makes a stay at home mom feel despised, for what she is doing, making her feel reluctant to accept her work and ignore her contributions .Why we have the stereotype thinking that only mom who works outside the house or in office are working mom? What’s the definition of working mom and what makes stay at home non- working mom? Is it a paid service or salary based service that makes a difference? Why do societies view differently to stay at home mom categorizing as non-working mom? Mom is a “Mom”, we don’t categorize them. She is someone filled with love, passion and completely involved in the well being of his child, right from the moment her baby lives in her body. While many developed countries are emerging with policies to encourage Father/Mother to stay at home, in the early days of their babies, whereas in many developing countries stay at home mom/parents are taken as synonymous to unproductive housewife, failing to recognize their contributions, in making happy family, the root of every societal development. Their role and their devotion to the families are beyond any comparison and in any case her contributions to the society cannot be ignored. World needs to accept and recognize involvement of woman in different forms in the development, as no society can prosper and progress if woman’s contribution is ignored. When a world is driven by measures of “economic and competitive growth”, it will definitely not be easy for any moms to take a break from her career life and put her career at stake, and small babies cannot be the victims of our so-called economical race of development. But in broader perspective, more than “economic matrix “of measurement we need “index of happiness” as many policy makers in developed countries are advocating.

More than competitive market based world, where growth is measured with success rate, we need cooperative and collaborative world based on understanding of human life. Competition might inhibit judgment and insecurities while cooperation leads to understanding, embracing of human values, social wellbeing and longevity.World should give every mom the secureness and applause for her role so that she can fully devote her time for her baby in his early years. Dubious I feel, any office will benefit from qualitative productivity from new moms, who, sitting behind office computers constantly worries about her baby’s wellbeing, missing every first milestones of her baby, first glance, first smile, first cry, first crawl, first step, first words, and many more, and whom she has to leave behind!!!

I really feel blessed that I had the privilege of making a choice to fully embrace my baby’s early childhood, while many moms in the world suffer to joggle between their work commitment and motherhood role, missing most of the precious moments of their babies development. Letting go of those tiny little finger’s grasps, acting as if you are turning deaf ears towards the cries of your baby, with constant guilt and tearful heart, is definitely the worst situation, any mom has to go through when she is forced to continue her work  commitment outside her house.